Holding my tongue...

Dear Lord,

Trying to hold my tongue today.
Trying hard not to say what I really want to say.
Someone has caused pain to my baby girl
She is the sparkle in this mom's world
Mama bear would like to come out and do a round
but only my hurt and pain would be found
So please, Lord. guard my tongue this day
Help me know what not to say
Bring peace back into this heart of mine
Let wounds be healed in loving time
Tomorrow is yet another day
Again help me know what to say.

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

Fighting the Giants in my life...

My joy is robbed everyday by the giants in my life if I let them. The biggest giant of my life (usually has to do with my self esteem) will come out to taunt, tease, ridicule, giving way to low self esteem, huge pity parties and feelings of failure. It doesn't matter how hard or simple the task, if that big giant is out there, then I feel like a failure before I even start my day!


Lately, I've been struggling with this. Whether I'm just tired, frustrated with different things in my life or overwhelmed...many times the end result is a lack of JOY.


This past week, I went back to the Bible searching for a way to overcome the giants in the land. What better place to go than the story of David. After all, he was after God's own heart, right? He wasn't perfect, but knew the Lord and had great faith.


It has been inspirational to watch how a young man, put his total trust in the Lord and was able to defeat the biggest of enemies, with a few stones in his pocket.


I too can be David, armored with stones of scripture in my back pocket. I too can defeat the enemy with a little faith in my Lord!


Max Lucado wrote "Facing Your Giants." In it he writes: " rush your giant with a God saturated soul."


David rushed out to meet Goliath (1 Samuel 17:48). He ended up fearlessly defeating him.

Maybe instead of hiding out in fear like Saul and David's brothers, maybe I should gather a few stones (scripture) and rush towards my giant in faith!

Hmmm... it certainly worked for David. And Joshua. And Moses. And Peter. And Paul. I'm starting to get the picture. Embrace my faith and I will embrace true joy.

Get out of my way GIANTS!!! I have a life to live!

Calming the butterflies...

What to do when the nerves set in... that uncontrollable "icky" feeling in the pit of your stomach. You have prayed for peace and you believe in the one who gives peace, yet how do you get rid of the restlessness that refuses to let go?

Philippians 4:6-7

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

No matter the event in our lives that causes the nerves to "fly," we can have the reassurance that Christ is there when we call. The butterflies might still remain, but there is an underlining peace you just can't find anywhere else.

"Believing and not doubting..."

James 1:5-6 says;
"If any of you lack wisdom he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him. But when he ask he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

Last week I had some moments when I literally felt like I was drowning at sea. Waves of uncertainty and frustration were smacking against me every time I tried to get my head above water. I have a hard time forgiving myself of past failures sometimes. They come back to haunt me at my weakest moments.

The first chapter of James is one of my favorite chapters in the bible. It talks about the blessings that come when we hang in there. That even when life isn't easy, that our faith can get us through.

However, in verses 5-6 it talks about how doubt can toss us around like "waves at sea." I realize that sometimes the peace will not come my way, because I just will not let go and give it all to God. I'm like Peter, trying to walk on the water with Jesus, but give up before reaching my destination. I am so thankful that the Lord never tires of me and is always there to pull me back out of the raging seas.

Today starts a new work week. We have work, school, sports keeping us busy among the craziness of this world. It is easy to start drowning in busyness and end up tired and feeling hopeless.

My goal this week is to keep my eyes on the Lord. To believe and try my hardest not to doubt. It would be a wonderful feeling to just be able to walk with my Lord, everyday, on top of the waters of life. That would be pure joy.

Rejoicing in the moment...

This has been a hard week for me. Temptations loomed, frustrations beckoned and painful moments brought tears. Life stinks at times. However, nobody ever said living would be easy, especially if you are living for the King!

As the sin of this world surrounds me, as the uncertainty of my world sneaks up in fear, as I struggle to be the wife, mother and friend I need to be, I will remember where my strength comes from. I will remember who holds my joy.

"Thank you, Lord, for not giving up on me, when I wanted to give up. Thank you for helping me let go and forgive my hurts. Thank you for giving me the strength to see the week through...I couldn't have done any of it without your grace."

"I will rejoice in my Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with garments of salvation, he hath covered me with robes of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments and as a bride adorneth herself with jewels." Isaiah 61:10 KJV

Selfless love...

It is Easter weekend.

It is a weekend of great joy, for it is a time for family, love and celebration. It is a time to worship the one true Savior.

I am in awe of Christ's selfless love.

He is the true example for living. Yet, I'm left humbled, for I am selfish. I am a child of this world. I want things my way. I want things NOW! I want control always.

Yet, where is the joy in all of that?

They say Christmas is the holiday for giving, but I think that honor should really go to Easter. A man named Jesus, God's son, gave his life for me. He gave it all.

He is my joy! He is the reason why we celebrate!

He is risen and I'm forgiven! AMEN!

Happy Easter!

Opinions matter...

Yes, they certainly matter. We can't even begin to pretend they don't. In this crazy world we live, half our problems stem back to wanting approval, to be noticed, to be appreciated or peer pressure. Yep! We care what our neighbor thinks (too much sometimes!).

I struggle with this constantly. I am such a people pleaser. I can't stand the thought that someone is mad at me or just plain doesn't like me. Unfortunately, I realize that I'm living for the approval of others. I should be more concerned with what my Lord thinks of me then someone else's opinion.

How can we even begin to have joy, if we are constantly worried about pleasing someone else?!

This is something I have been convicted to work on. I am going to try my best, to live for my Savior, not for a stranger or a friend who should love me anyway (if they are truly a friend!).

"Lord, help me not let the opinions of others bog me down. Help me put you first and be strong in those choices...Amen."

No record of wrongs...

To think that my Savior loves me so much He doesn't keep a record of my wrongs...with repentance, comes forgiveness and that means a clean slate.

I have a choice...I can continue doing what is wrong over and over and have no peace OR I can trust in my Savior to give me the strength and "know how" to make some changes. It is a process. A daily choice.

Matthew 6:21 reads, " For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be..."

I have to ask myself what is my "treasure?" Where does my heart live right now? I would like to think "with my Christ!" Yet, I am human and unfortunately have made many wrong choices in this journey I call life. However, all is not lost... I can choose daily to walk with my Lord.

He loves me no matter what! What an awesome thought! "No record of wrongs..." Now if only I can live by His perfect example.

"Lord, today I want to shine for you. May I too love unconditionally, with a forgiving heart. Help me have peace, when it seems none can be found. I want my treasure to be YOU! Amen."

A prayer for safety...

Today so much is going through my head. Loved ones traveling, storms lurking, little frustrations looming... I'm in the boat and the fear is crashing in with each wave. The wind whips around constantly reminding me of the worries I can't seem to shake.

But I am choosing to believe in the Savior walking on the water. I am going to choose to hear his voice as he commands the troubles to "BE STILL." I am going to choose to trust.

That is simply all I can do. For alone I am helpless. With God I can be strong. And at peace.

"Lord, protect those I love today. Calm my fears and wash me with your peaces. Amen!"

Thank you

Lord, thank you for once again reminding of your pr essence. Thank you. I know I can't go this road alone. Thank you for being my walking buddy. It makes the journey all the more beautiful.

Protection for the heart...

Words were said in haste. I feel like a child who doesn't understand. A little piece of my heart breaks off over nothing. Why? Why are there days that I feel so vulnerable. Every word said, the tone used or even the time spent in conversation all affect the "mood" I end the day on.

It is moments like this that I have to shield my heart in the knowledge that even those I love the most are just human, going through their day to day life, struggling like me to meet the needs of everyone around them to. How many times have I regretted my own tone of voice or the words that escaped my lips before I could hold them back? Today was a domino affect. Something was said to me, I in turn took it out on my child, etc... These are the days we have to shield our hearts in the knowledge of the unfailing love of the Heavenly Father. Every one else is not perfect and will fail us every once in a while.

My comfort comes from Him and Him alone. And the person who hurt my heart? I know he loves me too. He just had a human moment.

Lord, protect my heart on the "off" days. Let my mood be one of hope and praise, even when words and actions temporarily hurt.

Muddy Waters

What do you do at the end of the day when you look in the mirror and you are not happy with yourself? For whatever reason you feel BLAH! Bad hair day, big zit on the end of your nose, feeling the extra pounds you are carrying, frustrated with self and all that entails... Or maybe you're snappy with the kids, selfish in your marriage, feeling very alone and fighting the need to have a big 'ol pity party. Seriously, what do you do?

I do the only thing I can do...PRAY!!!

I have found I can't fight the blues alone. It is a process, for I have to constantly remind myself that although I certainly don't deserve the grace and love of Jesus Christ, He is there to carry me through the tangled messes I weave both in life and in my head.

"Thank you, Lord. Once again I come before you asking for your forgiveness for my selfishness, for my greediness, for my laziness, for the ugliness that infects the beauty of knowing you and talking to you daily. Help me let go and allow myself to be carried, for it is muddy waters in which I stand. I will sink deeper, if not for your strength, your grace and your love. When I look in the mirror I long to see the beauty that is all you. AMEN."

I truly have to let go, for my first inclination is to go build a boat to sail away out of the muck into the clear waters. However, in the time it would take to build my boat, my Savior could have already walked me across the river. Oh, if only I would learn not to have to have control and do things myself all the time! I get on to my children all the time; "It isn't all about YOU!" When was the last time I really heard my own words. When was the last time I was truly selfless?

Something to ponder... Something to PRAY about! Words to remember and live by.

Just another day...

I hit the alarm more than I needed to this morning. I sat up in panic, realizing my oversleeping was going to make my whole family rushed and maybe even late for their own adventures... As I watch my kids getting ready, one fussing about a pimple on picture day, while the other can't find all his stuff, I realize we have been here before in this moment. Wasn't it just yesterday...

We never know how long we have in this world full of accidents, disease and old age, but we can have peace.

There is guilt when I realize I haven't been taking time out of my busy schedule to talk to my best friend... I so take HIM forgranted at times...

Yes, today was so similar to the day before and the day before that. Why? Why are we rushing, going through life and letting it pass us by without a care?

Today was just another day, but I want it to be different. I want it to be filled with an awareness of my Lord.

Thank you Lord, for loving me and being there even when I don't stop to acknowledge it.

Psalm 62

Last night God gift wrapped Psalm 62 and gave it to me...

Thank you, Lord...words of prayer and praise from David, that gave me hope in the middle of a restless night.

May I know that you are my salvation when all this world holds presses against me...
May I know you are my rest when I am oh, so weary...
And my strength when I do not want to do battle in this sinful world.

As David wrote;

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him..." Psalm 62:5

3:00a.m. wake up call

It is 3:00a.m. and I can not sleep. I tossed and turned until I couldn't take it anymore! Whether from the dull ache in my mouth from dental surgery, a worried heart over sick family members I love or simply God saying "I need you to talk to me tonight." I dragged my weary head out of bed.

For the last 40 minutes I have prayed. Or maybe I should say I praised. I spent time praising my God for who He is...my Savior! He held my hand when I was afraid. He encouraged me when I was down. He has been my strength when I have felt so weak.

The last few days He has shown me His loving touch in so many little and big ways:
-The loving touch and care from my husband while I have been healing
- The mac and cheese made for me by my son when I could not cook for myself.
- The "you are missed" at my work place.
- The homemade chicken soup and cornbread made for me by a loving friend.
- The prayers prayed for me.
- The kiss good night I received from my daughter.
- The laughter of family spending time together.

These were my hugs from a God who cares, who knew I needed some TLC.

As I sit here praising him tonight, I realize that if a little dull pain and restless sleep, make me seek His face, then it was worth it. After all, what is my little pain in the shadow of His cross of mercy.

I serve a loving and caring God. He is my rest. He is my peace. He is my strength. I will trust in Him. I will cast the burdens of my heart on Him, for I believe He loves me.

I pray for my nephews who need His healing touch right now. I pray for a work place where people are so angry, let me be a beacon for you. I pray for healing. I pray for my husband as he manages to serve you. I pray for my kids that they will be strong in this crazy world. I pray for the building of our church, may it glorify you. I pray that you will help me reach out to the unlovable.

Thank you Lord for staying up with me, for listening to my cries and hearing my praises. Forgive me and help me forgive myself. Help me live for you today in all that I do.
AMEN

Ouch!

I'm sitting in church yesterday, with a migraine, no less trying my best to pay attention to the words of my pastor. I'm a big note taker, but yesterday I was doing good just to fill in the blanks on the sheet. However, I do remember one line of his sermon: "If you do not take time to pray, how can you consider yourself a follower of Christ?" OUCH!

I have to admit I've let things get in my way of quality prayer time lately. Yet, this past week i have been bombarded with things to pray for. Sick friends, work stuff, health issues, youth activities, the big pity party I'm trying to have...

Yes, you heard right, ONE BIG FAT PITY PARTY! Yet, there is that quiet voice, trying to be heard over my moodiness, "Michele, PRAY!" Yes, I need not to just pray for those special needs and those special requests, but I simply need to give my whole day up to my Heavenly Father in prayer.

Because I haven't taken the time to be close to my Savior, he hasn't felt close...yet I know He hasn't left me. I just haven't taken time for Him. To hear Him, feel Him and TRUST Him.

So, maybe instead of a pity party, I'll work on planning a prayer session with my BEST friend in the world. Want to join me? All you have to do is take some time before bed tonight and simply say, "I'm here, Lord."

I'm trying...

When the day is long and I feel so weary...I'M TRYING to trust in the Lord.

When people create problems that swirl around me...I"M TRYING to hang on.

When I feel lost and afraid...I"M TRYING to rest in the love of my Jesus.

When I feel ugly, unforgiven...I'M TRYING to remember what Christ did for me.

When LIFE gets hard...I'M TYRING to remember what living is really about.

I'M TRYING LORD, HELP ME PLEASE!

Thank you...

Lord, today I thank you. It is a Sunday, a day set aside for worship and I was "Glad when they said, 'Let us go to church!'" I needed today.

Thank you for pointing out areas in my life that I need to work on.

Thank you for presenting a message for me that caused me to evaluate my life and how I'm living that life.

Thank you for my husband and his ministry. I am in awe of the many talents and gifts you have blessed him with. I am thankful he has a heart for you.

Thank you for other examples in my church who actually "lead by example." I need a little dose of how they live...

Thank you for friends, encouragers, others who bring words of wisdom, hugs and a listening ear when needed. I am blessed!

Thank you for those praying for me daily...

Thank you for allowing me opportunities to minister for you. Help me use my talents for your service.

Thank you, for showing me that going to church is more than a sermon and a song. It is a chance to be encouraged, reminded of what I need to strive for and fellowship.

You are an AWESOME GOD and I love you!

Amen

Living in a "blessed" bubble...

As the world goes on around me, I am confused. I have and had many"troubles" come my way in life...I've traveled the world, seen first hand poverty, natural disasters, death, sickness, oppression...I've had to face handicaps and medical issues, death of loved ones and loneliness... I know what it is like to face addictions, feel unworthy and have to cry out for forgiveness...I'm not naive!!!

Yet, as people go on with their lives around me I feel their helplessness. It is like they have no JOY in life, that every problem is the "last straw" that will send their life as they know is barreling over the cliff. Whether it is emotional, physical or spiritual, they always seem to be running scared.

I've done things I'm not proud of. I still have issues I'm slowly but surely dealing with...I'm not perfect! Yet, those around me often think I have the "PERFECT" life. Well, I hate to break it to everybody, but NOTHING in this world is perfect. NOTHING, but God!

And there you have it. There is where the answer lies... God.

He is the beginning and the end. My Alpha and Omega.

I struggle daily in weakness, yet I know who my redeemer is...

I have been blessed. I was given the opportunity to be born in a "free country." I was born into an actively faithful Christian family. I married a man who loves God with his whole heart. And I have beautiful children that are a work in progress right now, but are being taught the love of the Father. Yes, I have had it better than some.

Only the Bible suggests that to whom " much is given, much is required." So on those days I'm tired of being strong, "living the fishbowl" life, struggling to make my own right choices, feeling like a hypocrite a good portion of the time... I have to remember my JOY. I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but I know the Lord has provided me with His tools to handle any situation with JOY.

Yes, sometimes I feel like I live in a bubble. Well, maybe I do...surrounded by the unfailing love of the Heavenly Father.

I will keep praying friends...your troubles weigh heavy on my heart today!

More prayers for other...

There is nothing like seeing others hurting that makes one stop and realize their own blessings. My heart goes out to the old friend rediscovered on Facebook, who feels lost and alone right now...struggling with unbelief and lacking in faith. God is good, my friend. Be strong, for He hasn't forgotten you.

There is the young girl, in our group, hit a deer tonight in her car. We think she will be alright, but my heart goes out to her mother right now. I want to go hold my own children close right now. Be strong, young friend. Be at peace, Mom. God is in control of these minutes.

There is a blog friend of my blog friends, who I now consider a friend in Christ. Her firstborn, born with health issues. A baby so wanted. A baby fighting to live. A baby held in God's hands... Lord, this young family longs to hold this little one, raise her for you. Please give them precious memories with her. Let her regain her health, be strong and be a total example of your glory.
http://www.kellyskornerblog.com

As I read what I've already typed, I realize how blessed I am. You give me so much. Shame on me for always craving more! Forgive me for my ungrateful heart, O Lord! Let me live with joy, for you have given to me greatly!

Amen.

Praying for others...

As I sit here typing, wondering what today might hold, while still feeling under the weather; I have joy. I have to. There are so many other people who are truly suffering today, that my little pain and discomfort seem so little in comparison. I don't have much energy or strength in this moment, but I can pray. Many times praying for others can bring back our joy. It can help us forget our own trials, it can remind us of God's GREATNESS.

Today I'm praying for a little friend who has RSV. So small, yet such a joy. I truly believe God has great plans for this baby. He comes from one of those stories that helps you realize that God is in control and can take the wrongs of this world and make something beautiful. My little friend is BEAUTIFUl. He makes me smile each day. As he lays in the hospital, I pray for healing and comfort for his little body. I also pray for strength and peace for his family. Nothing is harder, as a parent, than to have to watch your children hurting. That is how I know that MY God has this little one in his hands...He can't stand to see one of his own hurting either.

I'm also praying for a young family, that my sister and her friends have asked prayer for. Here is a lady who has waited for God's timing in having a baby, only to have her and the baby have some medical issues. Life threatening medical issues. I do not know them, but I realize they are a family of faith. I know God has His hands on their little family and will bless them with strength and peace. I pray for this new little life. She is already so loved. What a testimony her life will be...

I've prayed for the young, I will now lift up the older generation. Those dear to my heart, facing their own little trials in health, financial issues, changes and strength. Lord, you know who they are and I give them and their needs to you...

Lord, take my prayers today. Shower your blessings of healing, strength and total peace our way. You are the one true God and you have promised to take care of your own. You always know what is best for your children. Help us have peace with what answers you send our way.

Be a servant...

This is my prayer for today....

Lord, this has been a hard week for many little reasons. Physical pain and health issues have a way of bringing me down and putting me out of sorts. The days have been too long and the nights have been way too short. But you know?

I know YOU are good!

Lord, there has been a little gossiping going on at work. Whispers behind the back, hurt feelings, wrong assumptions made, careless attitudes...DRAMA. There are days that I want to throw in the towel and say "it isn't worth it!" But then I look in the eyes of a child, the toothless grin smiling back at me, and that precious giggle that escapes...

I know YOU are good!

Lord, my children are growing up. There are some growing pains along the way. Words said in anger, doors slammed, tears shed. I feel helpless as a parent. But,

I know YOU are good!

Lord, money can be tight at times. Wrong decisions made at times. The painful process of paying bills...

I know YOU are good!

Today, as I live life for one more day, each day truly being a blessing from you, help me remember this prayer. May your peace walk with me today, as I strive to have a servant's heart and find my joy in each moment. Thank you, Lord...

For YOU are GOOD!

Amen.

Mustard seed faith...

Nothing takes over your whole being, like the smallest pain. Why is it that a bad tooth, earache or crick in your neck can take over your whole body and control how one feels. I had lived in agony, a whole weekend, while trying to get on with life...it sometimes seems impossible. That smallest pain, throbs like a giant!

My heart cried out this morning to the Lord. Lord, I can't make it through today, without your grace. I've tried medicine. I've tried home remedies. I've tried everything, but nothing short of your strength and a dentist are going to help me today. The dentist will come at 4:00p.m., till then, I am going to keep my faith in you...

The smallest pain...can cause this much hurt. The bible talks about the smallest dose of faith, too. Sometimes,like today, when I seem so distracted and lost in a world of hurt, well if I can "mustard" up a little faith, a Godly dose of peace is ever present.

I have four hours till I go to the dentist. Four more hours of work. Yet, by your grace, I've made it through the last four with limited pain. Only you, Lord. All credit is yours! I give you the glory and I pray for more strength to come.

Thank you. It is possible to find joy in pain, when you feel the loving hands of the Heavenly Father on your heart.

"Be Joyful in Hope..."

"Be joyful in hope..." The words from Romans 12:12, literally bounce off the page at me. In my search for the definition of true joy, these are the words that grab my attention. What does it mean?

To be "joyful," means to rejoice. To have "hope" means there is a confidence that something will happen. So, to "be joyful in hope" leaves us with happiness over what we believe in. The true question should be; "What do I believe?"

I believe in Christ. I believe in a Heavenly Father, who loved me so very much, that he decided to send me a gift. A gift of salvation through His son. I believe this Savior, died on a cross for me, bridging the gap between me and a loving God. I believe that my Savior rose again and has gone to prepare a home for me that is not of this world. Simply put, my Savior brought me "hope."

In my spiral notebook, I have this written; "To discover joy is to see Christ and know he is there, even in the tough situations." I don't know where I picked this quote up, probably from a Bible study I've done in the past, but I love it. It is simple. It is understandable. It is truth.

One of my favorite books of the Bible is the book of James. He doesn't sugarcoat anything! My favorite verses are James 1:2-4. They says this:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers when you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith developes perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete and not lacking anything."

Truth is when things go wrong it is HARD to keep hope. It is HARD to be joyful. Death, sickness, money troubles, hurt, anger, betrayal... it is hard to let these things go. But, we can find JOY in the fact that God loves us, has never left His children and has indeed provided HOPE.

I look at all of God's children that have gone before me and have had their share of pain and struggle. Whether, they have been my favorite Bible personalities or members of my own family, I am often left in awe of the strength they possessed, after coming through the fire. I myself have felt closer to my God, after a dose of hurt and cup of struggle. So, i can only conclude this: Yes, there will be problems knocking on my door, there will be pain stepping on my toes. There will be trials of all kinds waiting for me behind the bushes, BUT there is my Savior waiting...waiting to walk through the stormy waters with me, or should I say on top of them?

No, God never promised there wouldn't be trouble in this world. He just blessed us with the ability to hope. In that hope, we find our joy!

A Journal of the Spiritual Heart

While traveling through "blog land" I have been inspired. Many individuals have used their blogs to journal their family's day to day experiences. I've done that. Some bloggers show family and friends pictures of their growing children. I've done that too. A few will use posts as their "soapboxes," voicing their opinions. Yes, I guess I'm guilty of that as well. However, there are a select group of people who inspire me with their blogs. One lady's blog leaves me with a feeling that I have worshipped, have had an encounter with God as I read her typed words. I'm left with a thankful heart that she is allowing God to use her and her talents to touch fellow bloggers, like me.

Yes, I already have one blog. It is all about my family; My loving husband, my terrific kids and the rest of my family tree. I try to fill it with pictures, funny tales and lessons learned. Yet, I wanted something more.

I've always enjoyed writing. I've kept journals since I was a young girl...I tend to write my prayers out when I have trouble voicing my heart. So, since I'm in blog land daily anyway, I decided to keep this journal of my spiritual heart. If no one reads it, well that will be alright. However, I decided to leave it available, in case God wants to use it for His glory.

I will not always have answers, but I will always have questions. I may not always be right, but I know as a child of God and a follower of Christ, that I am forgiven. So, as I daily try to walk in my Savior's light, in my search of true joy and peace, well...you are definitely welcome to walk the journey with me.