Feeling helpless...

Being "home bound" is not fun. Having to depend on others is hard. Wanting to do everything ones self, yet be so dependent is frustrating.

I have realized as I have looked back at the last few months, what I could do and what I couldn't, the good days and the bad, the sickness and the mending, the... I have been angry. Deep down I have been angry at God. "Why me?" Why us?" "Why now?"

Why not us? Why not now?

God never said crazy things wouldn't happen at crazy times in this world. He never said it would all be easy. He just said He would be there.

Yes, our family has been through a little fire lately. But instead of wallowing in self pity, I need to see this as an opportunity to grow stronger. Stronger in health, stronger in well-being, stronger in faith. Stronger in Christ.

We hate the helpless moments, yet those are the moments when we realize a power much greater than anything we can imagine. That is when we see something greater than ourselves. That is when we see the strength of God at its finest.

Then somehow, when we search deep, we realize that it is worth it.

Holding my tongue...

Dear Lord,

Trying to hold my tongue today.
Trying hard not to say what I really want to say.
Someone has caused pain to my baby girl
She is the sparkle in this mom's world
Mama bear would like to come out and do a round
but only my hurt and pain would be found
So please, Lord. guard my tongue this day
Help me know what not to say
Bring peace back into this heart of mine
Let wounds be healed in loving time
Tomorrow is yet another day
Again help me know what to say.

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

Fighting the Giants in my life...

My joy is robbed everyday by the giants in my life if I let them. The biggest giant of my life (usually has to do with my self esteem) will come out to taunt, tease, ridicule, giving way to low self esteem, huge pity parties and feelings of failure. It doesn't matter how hard or simple the task, if that big giant is out there, then I feel like a failure before I even start my day!


Lately, I've been struggling with this. Whether I'm just tired, frustrated with different things in my life or overwhelmed...many times the end result is a lack of JOY.


This past week, I went back to the Bible searching for a way to overcome the giants in the land. What better place to go than the story of David. After all, he was after God's own heart, right? He wasn't perfect, but knew the Lord and had great faith.


It has been inspirational to watch how a young man, put his total trust in the Lord and was able to defeat the biggest of enemies, with a few stones in his pocket.


I too can be David, armored with stones of scripture in my back pocket. I too can defeat the enemy with a little faith in my Lord!


Max Lucado wrote "Facing Your Giants." In it he writes: " rush your giant with a God saturated soul."


David rushed out to meet Goliath (1 Samuel 17:48). He ended up fearlessly defeating him.

Maybe instead of hiding out in fear like Saul and David's brothers, maybe I should gather a few stones (scripture) and rush towards my giant in faith!

Hmmm... it certainly worked for David. And Joshua. And Moses. And Peter. And Paul. I'm starting to get the picture. Embrace my faith and I will embrace true joy.

Get out of my way GIANTS!!! I have a life to live!

Calming the butterflies...

What to do when the nerves set in... that uncontrollable "icky" feeling in the pit of your stomach. You have prayed for peace and you believe in the one who gives peace, yet how do you get rid of the restlessness that refuses to let go?

Philippians 4:6-7

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

No matter the event in our lives that causes the nerves to "fly," we can have the reassurance that Christ is there when we call. The butterflies might still remain, but there is an underlining peace you just can't find anywhere else.

"Believing and not doubting..."

James 1:5-6 says;
"If any of you lack wisdom he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him. But when he ask he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

Last week I had some moments when I literally felt like I was drowning at sea. Waves of uncertainty and frustration were smacking against me every time I tried to get my head above water. I have a hard time forgiving myself of past failures sometimes. They come back to haunt me at my weakest moments.

The first chapter of James is one of my favorite chapters in the bible. It talks about the blessings that come when we hang in there. That even when life isn't easy, that our faith can get us through.

However, in verses 5-6 it talks about how doubt can toss us around like "waves at sea." I realize that sometimes the peace will not come my way, because I just will not let go and give it all to God. I'm like Peter, trying to walk on the water with Jesus, but give up before reaching my destination. I am so thankful that the Lord never tires of me and is always there to pull me back out of the raging seas.

Today starts a new work week. We have work, school, sports keeping us busy among the craziness of this world. It is easy to start drowning in busyness and end up tired and feeling hopeless.

My goal this week is to keep my eyes on the Lord. To believe and try my hardest not to doubt. It would be a wonderful feeling to just be able to walk with my Lord, everyday, on top of the waters of life. That would be pure joy.

Rejoicing in the moment...

This has been a hard week for me. Temptations loomed, frustrations beckoned and painful moments brought tears. Life stinks at times. However, nobody ever said living would be easy, especially if you are living for the King!

As the sin of this world surrounds me, as the uncertainty of my world sneaks up in fear, as I struggle to be the wife, mother and friend I need to be, I will remember where my strength comes from. I will remember who holds my joy.

"Thank you, Lord, for not giving up on me, when I wanted to give up. Thank you for helping me let go and forgive my hurts. Thank you for giving me the strength to see the week through...I couldn't have done any of it without your grace."

"I will rejoice in my Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with garments of salvation, he hath covered me with robes of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments and as a bride adorneth herself with jewels." Isaiah 61:10 KJV

Selfless love...

It is Easter weekend.

It is a weekend of great joy, for it is a time for family, love and celebration. It is a time to worship the one true Savior.

I am in awe of Christ's selfless love.

He is the true example for living. Yet, I'm left humbled, for I am selfish. I am a child of this world. I want things my way. I want things NOW! I want control always.

Yet, where is the joy in all of that?

They say Christmas is the holiday for giving, but I think that honor should really go to Easter. A man named Jesus, God's son, gave his life for me. He gave it all.

He is my joy! He is the reason why we celebrate!

He is risen and I'm forgiven! AMEN!

Happy Easter!